God-Centered, Other-Centered, and Servant-Speaking

Every day we demonstrate the power of saying yes and no to ourselves about our own use of language. Speaking is a series of consequential decisions about what to say and how and when to express it. By saying no to some of our language (i.e., by not speaking it), we are freer to say yes to God's Word -- and then to communicate the Word to others by how we live as well as by what we literally say (Quentin Schultze, An Essential Guide to Public Speaking, 30-31).

This is applicable in public speaking, certainly. But even more so person-to-person, namely, within a marriage. Speech is powerful and reality-defining. The tongue is a fierce and mighty thing, and a husband and wife must always be discerning what to say and how and when to express it.

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: so shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. Proverbs 3:3-4

Husbands and wives must demonstrate the power of saying yes and no to their selves with their use of language. The demands of a biblical marriage calls each spouse to be other-centered; it is not concerned with one's own feelings or thoughts of how one's spouse needs to make them feel, e.g., the wedding vows:

I, ___, take you, ___, to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's Word, and for His glory, I give thee my word.

To do this, you need to bind mercy (lovingkindness) and truth about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart. Say "no" to self-centered language, and you will be freer to say "yes" to God's Word (freer to say "yes" to being God-centered). And God's Word instructs believers to be servants and servant-speakers, that is, to be both God-centered and other-centered.